For the weed-loving parent, there’s a variety of baby names that reflect an adoration of cannabis. From Herb to Bud, Charlotte to Mary Jane, names are derived from all sorts of places. So, if you love the leaf, why not cannabis?
The Importance of a Name
Most of us know the importance of a name – it’s something that follows us our entire lives. We can go full-on Lady Gaga and change it, of course, but most of us won’t: we stick with what our parents give us. That makes naming kids a difficult task.
It’s never as simple as it sounds: you want a name that’s not entirely common, but one that’s not exceedingly weird either. And you want one that’s hard to make fun of, at least in childhood.
You don’t want to shoot too low or too high, adorning your kid with a name hard to live up to. Who knows how many times Gwyneth Paltrow’s son Moses has been expected to part the Red Sea or how many times her daughter Apple has been lauded for containing so much dietary fiber.
This delicate balance often left parents in the past erring on the side of caution, naming their kids Michael. Just Michael. But erring on the side of caution appears to be met with less remorse than picking an unusual name.
According to Live Science, a British Study found that 20 percent of parents regret the name they picked out for their child
Most of the parents rued that they’d chosen a strange name or one spelled oddly. Even those who didn’t overtly regret their choice had since found other names they preferred.
There’s other science behind this as well: boys with names traditionally given to girls tend to have more disciplinary problems than boys with more masculine sounding names. Androgynous but more usually feminine names – names like Shannon or Kelley – cause boys to act out once middle school starts. In the elementary years, it makes no difference; your name doesn’t matter, it only matters whether or not you have cooties.
Feelings of self-consciousness and teasing by peers are likely the foundations of this behavior.
Interestingly, girls given more traditionally male names – names such as Taylor or Morgan – were more likely to pursue education in math and science. Whether one causes the others is speculative, but it’s worth a mention, nonetheless.
How We Choose Names
There’s several ways parents choose names for their children. A lot of this has to do with the process of elimination: you hate the name Darla because of that bitch back in high school, for instance. Other people choose family names or name their kids after friends and other important people. Some hear names they like and latch on. And some purposely give their child a name that stands out.
Per TIME, millennials are most likely to name their kids in the latter manner; between 2004 and 2006, 66 percent of boys and 76 percent of girls had names that weren’t among the 50 most common.
In the period from 2011-2015, 72 percent of boys and 79 percent of girls had names that weren’t among the 50 most common
This doesn’t always work, however. Many people may of assumed they were being unique when they named their kids things like Harper or Liam or Brooklyn; now, those names are immensely popular. As a child of the 1980s named Jennifer, I feel the pain.
Strains for Baby Names
If you’re a marijuana enthusiast and you name your kid after a weed strain, more power to you (but maybe don’t tell your nana). To get your creative juices flowing, consider one of the following:
Bubba Kush: It’s hard to hear the name Bubba without hearing Forest Gump in the background: “Hey Bubba.” But this is a common moniker used in childhood. As for the strain itself, it’s a heavy indica and widely popular. It’s known for its ability to leave users relaxed but functional.
Berry White: A play on the name of the deep-voiced singer, Berry White in another indica-dominant strain. It does contain sativa though and you can tell – it induces euphoria and happiness. It’s conducive to creativity and focus as well. Of note, it’s not a strain that’s good for pain relief, but it is beneficial to relieving muscle spasms.
Y Griega: Name your child after this strain and call them Greg for short. Very high in THC, this strain is energetic and occasionally psychedelic. It’s a good choice if you’re looking for a powerful stoned experience.
Kali Mist: Kali Mist is all about energy: it’s good for writing, meditation, and yoga. If you smoke enough, its hallucinatory properties come out. Most experienced users tolerate it well, but it does have a reputation for paranoia. If you start to think your television is trying to suck you inside, you’ve had enough.
Cinderella 99: Despite Disney’s ability to manipulate child naming (we each know Elsas, Belles, and Aerials), there’s not many Cinderellas walking around (to be fair, there’s also very few Dumbos). The Cinderella 99 strain is much more popular; it produces a light body high and increased euphoria and creativity. Interestingly, it’s take a while to kick in – around fifteen minutes….much longer than a typical smoke.
Elvis: Name your kid Elvis and no one will know it’s after weed! Elvis is a sativa-dominant strain that produces psychedelic effects and the ability to rhythmically thrust your hips (okay, maybe not that). The buzz is strong, especially in people who aren’t used to smoking. Love it tenderly.
Jack: From Sour Jack to Candy Jack, from Jack Frost to Jack Skellington, Jack is a popular component of many cannabis names – it’s like the “James” or “Marie” of humans. If you really want to name your kid after marijuana, the name Jack’s a good choice: it covers your bases (you can even use Jackie for a girl). But maybe stay away from naming your kid after Jack the Ripper or, really, any serial killer.