Thunder Cookies is a name that rolls off the tongue (and into bed). One of those inescapably sexual combinations of words that have nothing to do with sex. Has anyone called their partner, “Thunder Cookies?” Try it and then don’t tell us how it turned out, please. We’re good.

Still, it’s better than being called Alaskan Thunderfuck. That’s Thunder Cookies’ dad and it’s where it gets its earthy, herbal scent. Its mom was Girl Scout Cookies (it’s safe to say who was the bad boy in the relationship). The rare combination of the words Girl Scout and Thunderfuck definitely brings to mind a uniquely powerful result. With 29% THC on the high end, we doubt Thunder Cookies will disappoint.

It’s super spicy – that’s the first thing you’ll notice. Rich, earthy, woody, flowery, and herbal. That’s how it’s usually listed on terpene profiles. For the science-lovers, we can tell you that it’s a mix of Beta-Myrcene and Beta-Caryophyllene, mostly, with some Elemene and Alpha-Humulene. Basically, that translates in practical terms to: “spicy earth.” What we can tell you in plain English is that the combination of spicy pungency and accompanying heaviness is a pretty welcome release. It’s like taking a huge breath of the outdoors (astute noses will get a whiff of pine). Thunder Cookies is a literally down-to-earth kind of strain – you’ll taste the earth. And it’ll knock you down (and out).

The strain’s buds are long and green, with ample orange hairs and light crystals. Nothing earth-shattering, that is, until you start smoking and get the strong onset of cerebral energy, a euphoric boost of dazy confusion that can last for hours, depending on your experience. But at 29% THC on the high end, no amount of experience can really save you.

After becoming euphoric, you’ll drop into a haze, a sleepy daze, and a final state of sedation. This makes Thunder Cookies an ideal strain for insomniacs, as it thunders through your mind at the same time that it lulls you to sleep with the sweet thought of cookies. It’s also a great companion for chronic headaches and migraines, depression, stress, pain, and even glaucoma. If you’re susceptible to eye pressure, you can relieve it with Thunder Cookies.

The heady effects take hold at the same time you get a blast of spicy nuttiness and fresh herbs. The strain makes you feel cerebral and relaxed, washed over, dazed and confused. It can be indispensable on those long nights alone. However you say it, just be thankful it’s called Thunder Cookies. There’s an alternate universe where you’d have to admit to smoking Alaskan Girl Scout Cookiefuck.